So, you’re thinking about moving to Colombia. Great coffee, friendly people, mountain views, and a cost of living that makes your U.S. rent bill look like a scam. It’s no wonder Medellín and Bogotá are buzzing with expats right now.

But before you pack your bags and post “goodbye America” on Instagram, let’s get real. Colombia has quirks—some charming, some maddening, some that will cost you money if you don’t know about them upfront. I’ve been here a few years, and there are a bunch of things I really wish someone had told me before I landed.

This isn’t the glossy brochure version. This is the insider stuff: the surprises, the headaches, the hacks, and yes, the things that will make you fall in love with the place anyway.

Colombia sorts every neighborhood and building into a “strata” from 1 to 6. Strata 1 is the lowest-income area, 6 is the wealthiest. Sounds harmless, right? Except your utility bills—water, gas, electricity—are tied to your strata.

That means if you live in a shiny strata 6 tower in Bogotá, you’re basically subsidizing lower-income households. Same water, higher bill. Many expats move straight into neighborhoods like El Poblado (Medellín) or Santa Bárbara (Bogotá) because they look fancy… and then get sticker shock from utilities.

Pro tip: Strata 3 or 4 often gives you a perfectly safe, modern neighborhood at a fraction of the recurring costs. Think middle-class Colombia: normal prices, good amenities, plenty of charm.

If you think you’ll call up a realtor and sign a lease like you would in the U.S. or Europe—good luck. Many agents in Colombia won’t rent to foreigners without a Colombian co-signer, a local bank account, and proof of income.

The workaround? Renting directly from owners. Check sites like Finca Raíz and filter out listings with big realty logos. Even then, be prepared: you might need to pay months—or even a year—up front. And yes, the paperwork will still be a headache.

Here’s a pleasant surprise: healthcare. Colombia’s public system (EPS) usually costs around $30 a month for doctor visits, prescriptions, emergencies—the works. Sure, you’ll wait longer for appointments, but the private system is affordable too.

Instead of $700/month U.S. premiums, you’re paying less than dinner for two. And if you want to skip the line, private clinics are an option. This is one of Colombia’s biggest hidden expat perks.

Data is cheap. Coverage is solid in the cities. But prepare for a constant barrage of marketing texts from carriers like Claro, Tigo, and Movistar. My hack? I keep my U.S. T-Mobile line for roaming, and add a Colombian SIM for local data—about $12/month.

Internet in apartments is generally reliable, though prices vary by strata and provider.

Yes, cards are accepted in malls and fancier spots. But corner stores, taxis, markets? Many are cash only. And ATMs limit withdrawals to the equivalent of $150–$225 per transaction. Want more? Multiple withdrawals = multiple fees.

Pro tip: Decline ATM currency conversions. They’ll try to skim 8%. Hit “decline” and you’ll get the real exchange rate. Also, U.S. banks like Charles Schwab and Fidelity refund global ATM fees. That’ll save you a small fortune.

Colombia runs on a different clock. “Mañana” doesn’t always mean tomorrow—it just means “not today.” Opening a bank account, setting up internet, getting paperwork processed—all take longer than you think.

It’ll test your patience, but also your stress levels (in a good way). Learning to go with the flow is the first cultural adjustment you’ll make.

Mention Colombia to friends back home and they’ll bring up Pablo Escobar. The truth? Today, major cities are modern and safe in most neighborhoods.

Still, petty theft is real. Don’t flash jewelry. Don’t wave your phone around on the street. Think New York or Barcelona street smarts, not Hollywood cartel drama.

Fresh produce? Dirt cheap. Eating out at a neighborhood restaurant? Cheaper than fast food in the States. But imported goods—electronics, cars, peanut butter—are shockingly expensive.

Live like a local, save a fortune. Live like an American, pay American prices. Simple as that.

You can survive with English in expat-heavy areas, but daily life—banks, government offices, neighborhood restaurants—requires Spanish. Even a B1 level (basic conversational) makes everything smoother. Start learning now, even if it’s just phrases. Your sanity will thank you.

Bogotá has some of the worst traffic in the Americas. Medellín’s metro is a lifesaver, but other cities rank high for congestion.

Expats usually rely on Uber, Cabify, or Didi, all of which are cheap. But here’s the catch: Uber is technically illegal. Drivers often ask you to sit in the front seat to look like “friends.” At airports especially, they play cat-and-mouse with police. Everyone still uses it—you just need to play along.

Colombia has friendly visas (retirement, digital nomad, investor), but the paperwork is intense. Multiple copies, notarizations, apostilles. Appointments that take forever.

I use a visa agency in Medellín that handles the headaches, but even then, patience is mandatory. Think of bureaucracy here like slow-cooked beans—frustratingly slow, but it gets there.

Forget four seasons. Colombia’s climate runs on elevation. Bogotá = chilly, rainy, sweater weather. Medellín = eternal spring. Cartagena = hot and humid year-round. Pack accordingly.

Forget Uber Eats. In Colombia, it’s all about Rappi. Groceries, prescriptions, electronics, restaurant meals—even cash delivery. You can get just about anything to your door within an hour. With “Turbo” orders, it can be 10 minutes. And delivery fees are usually under a dollar.

Most expats (myself included) end up completely addicted.

Colombians are polite, formal, and appearance-conscious. People dress neatly even for casual outings. Socially, being late is normal; professionally, punctuality matters.

Yes, you’ll face quirks: paperwork, traffic, endless marketing texts. But you’ll also find affordable healthcare, friendly people, gorgeous landscapes, and a lower cost of living. The key? Arrive prepared for the trade-offs, and you’ll adapt quickly.

Moving to Colombia is an adventure. You’ll get frustrated (usually at paperwork). You’ll also get delighted (usually by food, weather, or how far your money goes). The secret is knowing these quirks in advance.

Because once you know the rules—like why strata matters, why Uber drivers want you in the front seat, and why you should never accept an ATM’s “helpful” currency conversion—you’ll navigate like a local.

And then? Colombia starts to feel less like an “expat experiment” and more like home.